For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize