yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
