I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
