? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
