"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if only i could text you this smell
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
