You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
