Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
