Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we're so committed to being not committed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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