I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
