I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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