"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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