Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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