In America we eat man semen.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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