So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
