Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
