Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
