May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
