my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
