guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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