I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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