we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
God, I missed his penis.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
