saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
