cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
