I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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