The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
