my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
