You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
