yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
