he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
