Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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