I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize