I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do vagina's smell?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
