"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
