God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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