i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
