he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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