We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
