You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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