four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
