In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
