I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
