3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
