god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
