I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
