we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
