I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm just crazy horny about you
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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