i would punch a child for taco bell
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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