I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize