it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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