I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
