I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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