im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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