I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize