I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
