oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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