It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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