the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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