The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm at about main and main street
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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