im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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