i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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